Dialectics - Reflections on a Dialogue with a Colleague

This week, I interviewed a colleague who differs from me in race and life experience. She is a Black educator who has taught for thirteen years and was named Teacher of the Year both at our campus and in our district. She also recently completed her master’s degree in leadership. For the first four years I taught at our school, she was the only Black educator on our campus. I found this concerning due to our diverse student population. While we have a slight majority of white students, we also have a large number of Burmese students, followed closely by Black students. I have always noticed the strong relationships she builds with students. They respect her, trust her, and respond to her in ways that show how much relationships matter in education.

Our conversation focused on discipline and bias in schools. She shared that, from her perspective, Black students often receive a large number of discipline referrals compared to other students. She did not describe this as always being the result of obvious or intentional bias, but she also said bias cannot be completely ruled out. This is an important distinction. School discipline is rarely simple. There may be patterns that show up in referral numbers, but the reasons behind those patterns can be complicated. They can involve teacher perception, cultural misunderstandings, classroom management, student behavior, school systems, and home environments. She and I both agreed that home life plays a major role in how students behave at school. Parents and caregivers are deeply important. At the same time, we also acknowledged that even strong, involved parents can have children who struggle behaviorally.

She shared some interesting information about her own son. Despite the fact that she is an experienced teacher and a very hands-on mother, her son has had numerous behavior issues at his school. This gave her a perspective from both sides: as an educator who understands the challenges teachers face, and as a parent who knows how painful and complicated it can be when your own child is struggling. Her willingness to share this information helped me think about discipline with more humility. It is easy to look at behavior from the outside and assume there is a clear answer, but real situations are often much messier. Sometimes students need consequences. Sometimes they need support. Most of the time, they need both.Discipline is a tricky and relevant issue in public schools. My colleague and I both agreed that relationships with students are essential. You can work miracles when students realize you actually care about them. This does not mean ignoring behavior or pretending disruptions do not matter. Other students also deserve a safe and productive learning environment. But it does mean that students are more likely to respond to correction when they believe the adult correcting them sees them as a whole person.

We also discussed the importance of power. As teachers, we have the authority to decide what counts as disrespectful, defiant, disruptive, or noncompliant. That authority can affect students in serious ways, especially when discipline referrals begin to shape how other adults view them. I do not think most teachers are trying to be unfair, but I do think we have to be willing to examine our patterns. Who do we correct most quickly? Who do we give more grace to? Who do we assume is being defiant, and who do we assume is just having a bad day?

In August, I will no longer be teaching at the same campus as this colleague. I will be moving from teaching intermediate level students to teaching high school students. With this step I want to pause more intentionally before responding to behavior. I want to ask myself whether the behavior is willful defiance, a skill deficit, a disability-related need, a communication issue, or a response to something happening outside of school. I also want to continue building relationships before conflict happens, not just trying to repair relationships after a problem. My colleague did not give me one simple answer about discipline and bias, but it did remind me that fairness requires reflection, consistency, and care. It also reminded me that students are more than their worst moments.